All About Faith

This last week the amazing Elders serving in my area gave me the chance to do a little bit of missionary work.

(I'm pretty sure that either [Sister] Maren Bangerter or [Sister] Sylvia Magleby drew this from my mission...but it might have also been [Elder] Hiroki Konno. XD +2 to doodling skills.)


Typically on Fridays I try to go to the temple. Going weekly is something that I've been instructed and challenged to do, and sometimes it's a struggle, but I do my best. And from that effort I've felt the Spirit frequently, made friends and acquaintances at the temple itself, and found answers when I ponder intently. Plus the train ride over involves me catching up on a week's worth of journaling.

I still need to do better, but I'm truly grateful that my schedule allows for it. :)

This week, though, right as I was about to head out the door (after a slow morning. It was the second day into the school I work at's Spring Break. And I somehow managed to turn off my alarm clock in my sleep... I must have really needed those extra hours of REM. XD ) when I received a text from a guy in my Ward, asking if I could join the missionaries for a lesson. I said that I could, and that either way I was doing the Lord's work, so all was well.

Then I texted the Elders, asking what we were teaching about. There was no response for a while (and, honestly, I think that my phone and theirs just really hate one another. Technology. *shrugs*) and so I just continued reading where I was. Which was Moroni 7.

I prayed to prep for my studies just as I always do, but this time I did it with incredibly sincere intent, like I used to during the mission, and then an amazing thing happened. I felt the Spirit stronger than I have in months, and I was guided from verse to verse, each part pounding into my soul.

Now, anyone who's read Moroni 7 is fairly aware that it's a powerhouse chapter of The Book of Mormon.

• It talks about faith, hope, and charity. And how each one is interconnected, and that without any of the three it's impossible to get into the Kingdom of God.
• There's also a lot about everything good being of God and everything evil being of the Devil, and how we need to judge between them righteously, not claiming that they're the opposite.
• It also speaks on how Angels are appointed to declare the gospel to those with faith, who pass on these same teachings to others.

But the biggest topic of all comes right back to faith (mentioned previously).

And my mind became completely fixated on it.

The fact that if we ask in faith, believing that we can receive, then we will struck me like a hammer. In part because I've been hoping for answers to a question lately, and I was reminded that while I've been asking, I'm not sure if I've been asking with real intent.

Miracles also happen for those who have faith! Angels administer to those with faith and the end result is miracles!

By faith we become the sons and daughters of God! Now, we are all spirit sons and daughters of God already, but there's a difference between having a spiritual heritage and living up to that spiritual heritage!

The Holy Ghost has a place in our hearts when we repent and have faith! As a missionary you pretty much feel the Holy Ghost all the time, give or take. This is the end result of following the rules put in place for missionaries, being set apart by the Priesthood for the calling, and praying every minute of every day for 18 months straight. (That's a lot of prayer! And it packs a punch!)

But when I got back from the mission the first thing that I noticed was that the Holy Ghost's presence was extremely diminished. That's okay, really--I was expecting it. And I went from praying about the welfare of scores of people to praying about the welfare of myself, my friends, and family. So I didn't really need as much help all the time, because the pool of people I was helping was much, much smaller.

But the promise of having faith and repenting (being worthy of it) is the Holy Ghost being a presence in our hearts! And that means the strength that it once did on my mission--where it was strong and peaceful and helped me have the assurance that the Lord was guiding my life and had everything well in hand.

It's harder to feel that now simply due to my life being so busy. I don't get to pray nearly as much, nor read the scriptures for the same length of time (I have a hard time sitting still enough as it is. I used to love Personal Study above all other study on the mission. Now I have a hard time just reading 15 minutes at morning and 15 at night. :| It's just a matter of there being too much going on in my life and too many distractions in the world).

Plus I fall asleep while praying a lot.

Which has taken away that sense of security within the Lord's hands. I know that He still is gently guiding my life, but I've become more impatient and anxious about the future.

But this scripture reminded me of the promise that I have to the Holy Ghost to comfort and guide me, providing that I am willing to put in the time and have the faith to call upon the Lord to help me in my time of need and sorrows.

After doing this reading my heart was swelling with gratitude for faith and the many blessings the Lord has given us, in order to greater bless us even more. With this in mind, I kept reading even as I walked to the bus stop in order to go to my appointment at the Institute building.

As I did so, while wearing a cute black skirt, turquoise blouse, jean jacket and Keds (so a half-dressy, half casual look as I didn't know how fancy I needed to be for the appointment) a middle-aged man came up, smiled at me politely and greeted me.

He had a tired look to him, with tanned, weather-beaten skin, a blue shirt and jeans, a backpack and a baseball cap. I couldn't see his hair because of the hat, but his eyes were blue, I think, and he had a face that had probably looked young for a long time before abruptly becoming tired.

I smiled back, said hello, and returned to my reading.

Then he asked me about what I was reading in The Book of Mormon--the man said the title of the book specifically, indicating that he was familiar with it.

I explained that I was in Moroni 7 and, not know completely how to summarize, I said that I was reading about faith. How it can bring about wonderful things and that I had just realized that maybe I needed to work on my faith some more.

He then smiled and asked if I believed that.

And I don't know what it was, but I just started talking! The most amazing things started coming out (and let's see if I can remember them all). I know that in the scriptures it says that if you have the Spirit and you are spiritually prepared then you can open your mouth and it will be filled, and that's kind of what happened this time.

(Bearing in mind that I only half-remember what I said then, and that it's all about to come out in one long ramble-tangent. XD )

I remember telling him about how, yes, I did believe it. And that faith was about trusting the Lord and it's half belief and half action. I don't know what made me say it, but I opened right up to him then and there and said that my father was in prison and that his choices had created ripples throughout my family, for good and for ill. Everyone had been affected, and some of my family had become harmed because of it and some have become stronger because of it. But despite everything, I have to trust and have faith that the Lord is leading my life and that He is watching out for me. Which then reminded me of an article I recently read online, about a set of twins. How both of them had been beaten and locked in a closet by their mother, and one said that, "then and there, I knew that I wasn't worth anything," meanwhile the other said, "then and there I knew that I was worth so much more than what she saw in me."

Then he asked, "well, if that's true, then why do so many bad things happen to good people?"

I replied that this was a good question, and that the best way to answer is to say that sometimes bad things happen because of other people's agency, and sometimes they happen because of circumstance. But my opinion is that no matter what happens it's an opportunity for us to become stronger and better people. That it can make us bitter or better. And that the Lord is always just trying to make us stronger and to help us in our lives and that we need to rely on Him.

The last thing he asked, as the bus was coming up, was what I meant by the "action" part of belief + action. And I responded with, "our choices," and he made sort of an, "ah-hah!" cry, which I think he meant to indicate that he had caught me in my own words or something, but I can't see how that would be, because I honestly think that it is our choices--how to act on what we are experiencing--that defines us.

Plus the idea of, "so you believe in _____, now what are you going to do about it?" It's one thing to know that the Gospel is true and that God is our Loving Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is our Savior. It's another thing entirely to act upon that knowledge, to share it with others and to act as Christ would act had He been present.

After that our conversation was cut off as I realized that a friend of mine from church was on the bus and we happily chatted away until her stop and mine, but I could see him watching us and especially paying attention to my cheerfulness in light of the difficulties I explained that I had experienced.

I didn't get to speak with him further, but I did happily say goodbye as I got off. Now, the lesson with the missionaries that day went okay--it really did! My studies had prepared me and the question they asked me was about faith.

But I honestly feel like the more important interaction that day happened before I got on the bus to meet with them. Where the Lord timed things exactly so that I could bear testimony on faith, on the love of the Lord, and the fact that we need to trust in the Lord even when bad things happen. 

Getting Down can only Go Up!

Well!

I've been thinking about this topic for a bit of time, so let's see how well it translates over to the internet.

Hello, Internet!

This is a happy post! I have to preface my thoughts with this because it may not seem like a happy post at first. But it will get there, eventually. ^__^;; First, an explanation is in order...

So recently a coworker and friend posted a link to an article about how in Norway apparently they test for Down Syndrome in fetuses...and how 99% of those pregnancies were aborted. Also, the government encourages this choice based off of the concept that the Quality of Life is low and it's a "trial" to live with Down Syndrome. And those whom do keep their children are frowned upon as causing a financial drain on society.

Now, we all know that the internet is only true to a certain extent, so I did some research. One  Two Three

The information kind of went back and forth, but my resulting conclusion was that there was a large degree of truth in the article, but also to take the part about the government interference with a grain of salt.

After that, my response was:

1. "GATTACA IS REAL!"

Paired with a heavy amount of sadness.

Gattaca is a movie about social bias based on Eugenics. We watched (most of) it my seventh grade year (we skipped a few parts. :| ).

The saddest element in the movie is how the characters have the world against them from the very first moment that they start developing in the womb. (Which can be said about pretty much all types of social bias, but that's a conversation for another day...)

My second thought was this:

2. If they don't want them, I would take them.

I would be their mother.

If I had a child with Down Syndrome, I would keep him or her.

Of course, I'm told that if I was actually faced with the situation in reality I might change my mind, due to the extreme stress.

But here's some more thoughts and perspective for you.

3. My Uncle Jimmy has Down Syndrome.

My mom has told me a couple of times that when she was little she used to be able to understand what he was saying, but she lost that ability as she became older.

When I was young I didn't know how to interact with Uncle Jimmy quite yet, but as I slowly went through adolescence and became a teenager I made a decision to talk and interact with him as much as possible when I visited. As I did so he seemed to perk up more and talk more and interact more.

But he became frustrated and despondent when, later on down the line, I couldn't understand what he was trying to communicate. However, it wasn't that he was not talking, it was that I wasn't listening correctly!

Also:

4. I currently work with children that are Deaf-Blind as a Communication Intervener.

Deaf-Blindness is a general term and can span from mild to profound on either spectrum. So a person can be more Deaf than Blind, or more Blind than Deaf. Most people think of Helen Keller when it comes to Deaf-Blindness, but she is one individual who is both profoundly deaf and profoundly blind. Which is not always the case.

Additionally, Deaf-Blindness can actually just be part of a whole; a symptom of a greater disability, such as CHARGE Syndrome or Usher Syndrome. It can also be caused by premature birth, infections, chemical exposure, or other things.

When you are working with a Deaf-Blind child  you often end up working with another needs and levels. So I suppose that it's safe to say that I've started "listening" a little better in the most recent span of time. (Uncle Jimmy would be proud. :) )

Based on my (admittedly limited) experience as an Communication Intervener, I am now more likely than ever to have/adopt/raise a child with Special Needs than ever before in my life. A thought that I actually think on often.

Plus:

5. I am turning 30 years old as of March 10th (roughly a week from now).

The older that I get the more I have to be careful about my health and whether of not I will be able to give birth to a healthy child. The probability of me having a Down Syndrome child biologically is becoming a higher and higher probability. So if that does end up happening, it's far better to accept it now and learn love in advance.

6. And I have to take into account other health issues as well.

Ones which may result in me not being able to have children at all. (That's a rather dire look at the future, and while I'm usually an optimist I have to look at the situation realistically. *shrugs* It could happen, I could actually be placed in this position.)

So if I had the choice between not having any children at all and adopting a child with Down Syndrome that is unwanted and in need of love and a family, you better believe that I am going to love that child with all of my heart and all of my soul. <3

I will be someone that the Lord can trust to love His children, no matter what trials they face.

I'm reminded of a Mormon Message that came out a while back. It's called, "A Father Indeed." One of the original Mormon Messages, it's a family-wide discussion about why Bill is a True Father.

First it starts out talking about his relationship with his wife and how, when she became ill, he took the harder path and stayed true to his family, his love, and his commitments to God.

The second part, however, is about his desire for a son. He had all daughters before that point, and loved them equally. But a part of him knew that he was meant to have a son, and when the doctors told his wife to have no more children Bill said a very specific prayer, asking for a son.

But the promise he makes is that he is willing to take any son that Heavenly Father is willing to give him. And the Lord gives him a son with Down Syndrome.

The thing that I find the most remarkable is the sheer love Bill has: for his wife, his daughters, and especially for his son. He constantly sacrifices for them without complaint.

And his son thrives because of it. When he was born the doctors said that he would most likely never progress or learn how to take care of himself or self-feed. And yet in the video itself his son is shown explaining his father's prayer, and is an articulate, happy adult. Bill couldn't have known that his son would ever reach that point, but it is through his love that his son does achieve that!

The same goes for any other individual with Down Syndrome, in my opinion. They are basically untapped potential. Yes, there is definitely a scale in which it affects them more or less. I'm told that my Uncle Jimmy is on the level of an eight-year old.

But an eight-year old is still a pretty aware kid! An eight-year old knows right and wrong and can be pretty precocious sometimes. And if they are encouraged to excel and work hard then they truly can lead a happy life and follow their dreams.



There are plenty of individuals with Down Syndrome whom have been successful. First there's Jamie Brewer, who is an actress.

There's Madeline Stuart, an Australian Fashion Model:

And also Isabella Springmuhl Tejada, a Guatemalan fashion designer who showed her work at London Fashion week.

So the idea of aborting a child simply because they have Down Syndrome--not based on the severity of it or that child's ability to thrive--makes absolutely no sense to me.

Especially when they have the opportunity for so much potential.

You can't tell from a medical test whether they would be good at singing, or love animals, or be an excellent older sibling. You can't tell from a test if they might be skilled at cooking, or have a talent for gardening, or if they are likely to be on Broadway. Because the test for Down Syndrome is Pass/Fail. It's not based on merit or ability, heart or soul.

And even if a child with Down Syndrome is on the low end of the spectrum, their potential grows the more that you plant it, water it, and tend it with love and care. Raising a child with Down Syndrome seems much like raising any other child--there's messes and mischief and confusion.

But there is also laughter, hugs, music, and joy. There's not much that is better than that. :)

About Right. :)